You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
