Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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