The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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