I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
