I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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