we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
