If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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