found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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