Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
