Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
