he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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