I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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