Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
