Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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