I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
