The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
and you said cock pushups were impossible
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I deserve this hangover.
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