im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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