Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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