A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
