so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
