Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
