I'm lost and stupid without you.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
