five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
if only i could text you this smell
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
