Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
he laminated a picture of his dick.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
