are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
this hospital has no fireball
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
