I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i believe in u and ur pee
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
