can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
