I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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