this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
