Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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