My first STD was from a foam party
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm at about main and main street
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Lo siento on account of my penis...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
