he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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