Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
