i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
