no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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