five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
