Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
