party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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