there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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