check it out our google latitudes are spooning
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
