idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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