i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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