i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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