Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I need moral support for this bender
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I am naked and annoyed.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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