U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
