Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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