Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
