Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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