i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
