fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
