I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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