Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We had sex on a dog bed..
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
