If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
