well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
